Ode to Triangle Crayons

I’m sure all of those people out there that aren’t parents are rolling their eyes and probably not going to read much further, but for those of you that are, read on.

You all probably know the misery of the round crayon.  I mean, who on earth thought it was a good idea to create a children’s product that is to be used on flat surfaces AND ROLLS. 

Why is rolling so bad?  I want you to go take something round, anything round, set it on a table then watch it roll off and pick it up over and over and over and over.  Now continue this for about an hour or so, and eat dinner during the process.  Oh, and mediate a few toddler fights, run to the bathroom at least once, and dodge any flying food, all while guarding your beer with your life so that it doesn’t get toppled by tiny hands.

Now, I introduce the triangle crayon. 

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I did not know this was a thing until recently, and for those of you who still don’t know this is a thing, THIS IS A THING!  We have run into these at only a handful of restaurants in all our travels and I don’t know why???  Is it more expensive to make a crayon that is shaped like a triangle instead of a circle??  Is the crayon business so overpowered by one company that no one dares takes on their original design?!  I DON’T KNOW.  Should I start a company that only manufactures non rolling triangle shaped crayons??  Maybe one day…All I do know is that when my children are provided with these magical, stay put entertainment devices, they don’t need me nearly as much.  Sure I still have to referee fights, bathroom run, and cut things into pieces that are obviously the wrong shape/size and must be recut 5 times, but I don’t have to continuously get out of my chair and pick up coloring devices repeatedly.

Restaurants, please hear my cry!  These exist!  Find them, stock them, people will come to you just for this reason!  (at least I would)

I must confess…when these are available at a restaurant, I ask for an extra set for the baby (who obviously can’t color) and I keep them in my bag for use at places that have round crayons, or worse, no crayons. This is a whole other topic: things I take from restaurants….don’t judge, they want me to have these things or they wouldn’t put their name on them.

State of Confusion

website

Rating 4.8/5

  • Outside best
  • High Chairs - Yes
  • Changing Tables - Women's bathroom only
  • Alcohol - beer, wine, liquor
  • Food - Yes, large & unique menu
  • Kids Menu - Yes
  • Activities - Triangle crayons, plenty of room to run
  • Staff Kid Friendly - Yes
  • Patrons Kid Friendly - Yes
  • Dog Friendly - Yes

Full Review to Come

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Hard Knox Pizza

Hard Knox Pizza

website

Rating 4.3/5

  • High Chairs - Yes
  • Changing Tables - Women's bathroom
  • Alcohol - Draft & canned craft beer
  • Food - AWESOME pizza, salads
  • Kids Menu - No
  • Activities - Crayons & coloring sheets
  • Staff Kid Friendly - Yes
  • Patrons Kid Friendly - Yes
  • Dog Friendly - Only outside, limited space

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Bearden Beer Market Full Review

When we initially moved to Knoxville and had our son, we rented a small house in the Bearden/Sequoya Hills area.  One of the first places we discovered and loved was The Bearden Beer Market. However, I had not been back there in probably three years.  For some reason, I decided today was the day.

Don't be fooled by the name, the Bearden Beer Market is way more than a beer market. It is a large outdoor gathering spot, complete with every type of table, kids riding toys, a full sized basketball goal, covered areas, uncovered, areas, giant Jenga, about a million corn hole sets, and so on.

There is only one entrance, so kids are fairly contained.  But beware that that one entrance leads to one of the busier streets in Knoxville, so I wouldn't get too distracted from the kids.

There are three unisex bathrooms, the middle of which has a changing table.  The bathrooms are located inside a sort of sitting area that has a foosball table, some mismatched couches and a TV.  (From past experience, this area doubles as a fantastic nursing room.)

The beer selection rotates and is usually fantastic.  Today they had a Bearded Iris IPA on tap that I LOVE.

As far as food...they do have food trucks that frequent, and a list of what truck is there on what day at the entrance.

I'm pretty sure just one truck a day and it doesn't show up until the evening during the week.  Luckily its right across the street from Hard Knox Pizza so we generally just go there to eat or pick up food and bring it with us.

I absolutely love this place.  It's great for a sunny day or a cooler evening if the fire pit is lit.  I don't think I'd choose it for a hangout when the weather is too bad though. My biggest complaint is that they allow smoking everywhere, but hey, I'm sure this makes my smoking friends happy!

If you're bored with your kids and want a beer, definitely give Bearden Beer Market a try.